"Ghost of Me"
"Looking Forward to the Ancestors"
"For Dear Rosebud"
I have always been so in awe of the photographer Julie Margaret Cameron. How she learned to take photographs later in her life and so following her own vision and her heart though she often got so much criticizm. She purposely made them blurry, dressed people up like characters from Authurian Legends, Shakespeare's Plays and Mythology. Many at the time thought this was just "silly".
Alice in Wonderland Grows Up
One of many of Julia Margaret Cameron's Photographs
But for me, this is magic. I have always been the most interested in taking portraits of people-everyone has their thing. I had to try taking landscapes and other photographs in college and they were horrible and I knew they would be because I just didn't love them. I warned my Professors that they would be horrible and expected my grade on these pieces to reflect this and they did and my Professors laughed with me. I didn't care and they didn't really care. The main thing that was important they said is that I had figured out what my passion was and my style. So, if I don't have a person, I will take a photograph of myself because I can do whatever I want and I don't have to explain myself to anyone. Some folks may find these photographs "silly", but hopefully I will stay strong like Julia Margaret and just do my thing and not worry where they end up.
8 comments:
You are beautiful and your artwork is beautiful...
"Heroines cannot be both above the world and within the world at the same time..."
Goethe-
"Two souls abide, alas, within my breast"; he laments, "And each one seeks for riddance from the other."
Seek and you shall find - it is in you to expel what is the negative driving force in your life. It takes a strong person to overcome adversity, pain, and strife.
And you will...because you are strong!
I am not sure darling one if you realize how strong you are just for saying these things. Remember in terms of being "mad" all the best ones are! Sorry quoting the alice, but it is true. Demand less of others, look more into yourself. Don't pin hopes on others, I did. It just pokes them and they get sore. ;) You are an artist extraordinaire. Keep creating and walking in the green grass, as a friend once said. Just know that your existence is a gift to us and to you. Blessings.
Thank you both so much for your words. I came here to delete all of this. It has been such a lonely, personal and misunderstood journey and I think it is best if I don't put it out there as if I am asking for sympathy or help. It has been all about me and feelings that I am not worthy, trying harder to reach for "better" always only to fail myself. That is all part of it-this lonely struggle and competition with yourself. You can have friends and family but the sinking feeling of "not good enough" will follow you everywhere.
Thank you for your words. Yes, I am "Mad". This has served me to create and see things in a new way, but it is also hard to give myself a break-it is fine line and sometimes you just want to give up it all up so you can feel less.
Blessing to you both!
Julia Margaret Cameron is my favorite photographer!!
I even named my "paper" camera as Julia :)
when i was studying one year in a art school 2003 i just loved to be by myself on a dark room and invent new ways to create photographs. ever since i have been wanting to establish my own dark room. develop photographs like in 1800 or early 1900 century.
I saw your original post too and wanted to respond, but couldn't find the words, except I understand...don't know if that helps at all, but just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and think that you are incredibly talented...sending you big hugs x
wow, such beautiful work....
"To thine own self be true".
Stunning work, Merle. Your creativity, of late, has been amazing. What a fabulous time for you, dear one. Bright wishes. xx
Thank you so much Tina! I got your email and will write back!
Thank you CRANK! your comments mean so much so much to me!
Delia! You are too kind! I did find something magical in my mail box and I am overwhelmed! I only discovered Julia Margaret Cameron's work in college and thought, "oh, thank you Julia! the way i do things is making sense!" I had also done some photos on glass plates and with handmade pinhole camera plus my great auntie had given me her brownie camera and I learned how to develop and print my own colour photographs when I was studying all kinds of art in New England. I love your jewelry so much and do believe that if you have the eye for one thing it just a matter of learning a new technique to do another. I hope you can take some time and do some photos too!
Thanks for always being so supportive Carol Anne and for letting me view a little bit of your magical world-it seems you and your siblings share this magical world and must speak a special language. I am going to try to keep up with my blog more. Getting my studio organized is on the list and should be a big help.
xo,
merle
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